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My wish is to offer you hope and the incentive to find the solution to your own problem, whatever it may be. For, surely, an answer does exist!

It is from where I have been, compared to where I am now, along with a deep love for my fellow brothers and sisters in the human family—especially those who are suffering—that I wish to share my story and the things I have learned on the journey to wholeness. My hope is that the tools contained in this book which have been gathered from many sources might be used to facilitate healing for those who are on a similar journey and in a painful place. As the tool makers left us the wedge, the lever and the wheel, I leave you with thoughts and encouragement to make life's journey much more enjoyable. Most of all, I offer my love. For love is the reason that we are here: love of God, love of self, and love of others; love, that's all. Though, when one understands what love really is, that's a lot.

My depressions have helped me to break through some of the surface stuff. I picture it as being like an onion. Imagine that a diamond is at the core of an onion. Many layers must be removed before you are able to get to the core. These can be peeled off, or one may use a knife to cut to the heart of the onion. I believe that depression is the knife. It helps one to cut through the layers of ignorance and get to the diamond at the core.

It has been said that many of the greatest contributions to humankind have been accomplished by those who have suffered immensely. From this, I have learned that a person who suffers much is very special. I wondered, "Could it be that I would some day accomplish something great?" Maybe I would have a strong positive impact on others because I had endured the cross of my depressions. Could it be turned around? This thought increased my hope. Wonderful, since hope is the opposite of hopelessness and hopelessness is a major factor in causing and perpetuating depression.

As for my story: in the past, I have experienced times of severe depression. I have been depressed for several months at a time. Compounding the depression was the awful feeling of paranoia. I felt that people were out to get me, that people were trying to kill me at times—or at least that people would like to see me dead. I, in fact, wished I was dead. I thought of many ways to do myself in. Some types of fear are usually not good, but it was fear that kept me from killing myself. Fear that the other side might be worse. That even though this—what I was going through—seemed like hell, I thought real hell would be even worse. So I was afraid to kill myself. Thank God for this kind of fear. I am now very glad to be alive.

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